How to Get Screwed in Court in 8 Easy Steps

  1. Have a tax arbitrarily assessed upon you for driving.  Also known as a speeding ticket.
  2. Indicate to the court on the day of your arraignment that you plead not guilty, and, reserve the right to go to traffic school per Rule of Court 4.104(c)(3).
  3. During your court trial, object per California Evidence Code §§ 771 and 1237 that the prosecution’s witness has not properly laid the foundation to read directly from his notes and be overruled.
  4. During the same trial, indicate to the court that during your arraignment, you reserved the right to go to traffic school per the appropriate rule of court and still be denied the right to attend.
  5. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness did not bother to tell you why he pulled you over, or show you the speed he supposedly clocked you driving at.
  6. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness has no case because he has not proven anything and has instead simply read back why he issued the ticket.
  7. Point out to the court the prosecution’s witness has not bothered to answer any questions upon cross-examination and has simply regurgitated the reason for issuing the citation instead of answering the defense’s questions.
  8. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness does not understand how lidar works since he was not able to explain it during cross-examination.

For any John Q. Patriotic brain dead Americans out there who still labor under the delusion that traffic tickets are about safety instead of revenue generation, I encourage you to attend traffic court and behold the obfuscation, lies, denial, and outright screw-overs perpetrated upon traffic citation defendants by the Superior Court in Orange County.

To characterize the proceedings as a Kangaroo Court is putting it charitably.   It’s more like a lost skit from Monty Python and the joke is on you.

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