Happy Income Tax Day

Ah yes, the fifteenth of April is always a joyous occasion, isn’t it?  I mean, you DO enjoy helping to support your federal government, dont’cha?

If not, then let me just ask why you are such an unpatriotic bag of douche?

How ELSE will your elected representatives be able to:

Vote themselves raises

Add another layer of platinum to their Cadillac health insurance bennies

Fund more wars so their independent contractor friends can profit, and,

most importantly, without your tax dollars, needy billion dollar, tax dodging, Cayman Island incorporated companies like Goldman Sachs won’t be able to receive billion dollar bailouts!

Surely, you don’t mind helping to finance banks that privatize gains at the same time their Congressional lickspittles force you to pay for their fuckups and malfeasance?

What?  You say you have a problem with rewarding failure?  Why you  frog eating, croissant loving,  socialist scumbag!  How DARE you tread on sacred American capitalism and the free market!  ALL free markets have a government that assumes financial responsibility for certain, well connected sectors.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even thinking of not helping out Wall Street banks.  Remember, they are too big to fail, so we must ensure that they are bailed out and rewarded at any cost.

Even if you’ve been out of a job for a year; you’ve lost everything you have previously owned including  your home; and you now live out on the street with your family, you should be proud that you live in the greatest country on the planet!

Disregard that you have to be asleep to believe it, you are living the American dream!


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