Profitting from Tomorrow’s Deaf

I thought I’d cover a topic that I haven’t before.  Namely, investing.  I’m not going to steer you towards pumping up the bottom lines of Goldman Sachs & the rest of the white-collar criminal Wall Street gangs, but I do want those of you who have some extra pennies lying around to pay close attention to the following.

Ever notice how wherever you go, someone is plugged into an mp3 player and the music is so loud that you can hear the music quite distinctly from several feet away?

Or how about the music blaring out of the P.A. in department stores, supermarkets, gyms,  etc.  It’s so loud that you can’t even hear your music coming from your own mp3 player’s ear buds without increasing the volume exponentially.

Or the drive-by idiot whose car stereo music/bass is so obnoxiously loud that it is setting off car alarms?

Or, my favorite, the decibel level of the movie theater is so overly, unnecessarily loud that you leave the movies with blood trickling out of your eardrums as if you just left a metal band concert.

These are all indicative of one thing. The general public -namely, some of those in the 18-25 year old demographic will probably be stone deaf by the time they’re 40 because more than a few prefer to listen to their music quite loudly as evidenced above.  The reason the music is so loud wherever you go is because these are the same people who are working those jobs and cranking up the music.

Those of us who value our cochleas can just as easily wear ear protection, but be advised that the self-induced dumbassery of the Millennials (as they are called) will give the rest of us a leg up in investing for our futures.

I realize that no amount of statistics or factual evidence of hearing loss that I can report here will prompt or persuade any of the spawn of Boomers to turn down the music to save their hearing, so I’m not even going to try all that hard.   But I will include this much –

According to the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA):

“The explosion of mobile media and potential for misuse among young people, has led others to raise warning flags and call for more public education. The most recent in a series of studies by the Kaiser Family Foundation about media use among 8- to 18-year-olds found that, in the past five years, ownership of iPods and other MP3 players rose dramatically, from 18 to 76 percent. This statistic is particularly alarming given that in 2009 leading authorities predicted a rise in hearing loss nationally due to unsafe use of personal audio devices.”

The above referenced statement may be frightening to some, but I see nothing but opportunity in that 18 to 76 percent stat because this is the segment of the population who will be needing hearing aids and cochlear implants.  And as Econ 101 has taught us demand = $$$$$$$$$.  So invest in these technologies wisely.

The Better Hearing Institute has a really helpful noise thermometer guide available to help you decide as to exactly how deaf you’d like to be.  But in the meantime, keep your eyes & ears open for any cochlear implant start ups because the way I see it, those who insist on blasting their music will need the implants a lot sooner rather than later.

Oh and by the way, just in case you think that you can go for a big payday like the lifetime smokers did with the tobacco companies?  Don’t.  The class action suit filed against Apple for selling iPods to people who refuse to turn down the music has been dismissed by the courts twice.

Further Reading

What You Can Do About Hearing Loss

Listen to Your Buds

Study: Hearing Loss Up Among Teens

©2010 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


3 Responses to Profitting from Tomorrow’s Deaf

  1. doctorcrankenstein says:

    A few sweeping generalisations there, but then again I did a university course on millenials as part of my education degree and have two textbooks on them and they are packed to the brim with sweeping generalisations. I guess it’s unavoidable. I just don’t like It because I see myself as one of the stereotype-breakers.

    I go to a lot of Heavy Metal concerts and I wear mould-able ear plugs. It’s not just to protect my hearing but it cuts out the feedback and you can actually hear the music instead of a loud hum with some guy screaming over the top.

    I wonder how many other people have made a connection between loud music and investing In hearing aids. It’s quite a clever observation. I raise a glass to your forthcoming riches.

    • Eh, Dr. Crank, I have a niece your age & she also does not fit the stereotype, which is why I included the word some, so maybe there’s hope for your generation yet! The hundred or so of you who will still have their hearing when they hit 40 could form their own elite Facebook group or something.

  2. doctorcrankenstein says:

    Rofl. There’s a facebook group for everything.

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