How to Remain Motivated & Postive

Subtitled:  Your Session is Stale. Please Refresh.

When I figure out a way that doesn’t involve the use of Schedule I narcotics, I’ll let you know.

I jest.

Really.

The hardest chemicals I ingest are vitamins/supplements and caffeine.  But back to our topic.

Depending on who you ask, a motivated and positive outlook can be achieved by cranking up your favorite tunes to counting your blessings.  The former I find detrimental (unless you want to be deaf) and the latter is simply cheesy.

The reality is that one person’s motivational tools may be lame and just plain unworkable to someone else.  And you could read self-help books on the matter til you go blind or shit, but in the end, it all comes down to you.

What will work for you long term is the key, but arriving at that point will require a certain degree of initiative and effort on your part.  You’re going to have to look deep within yourself and determine what really does or does not do it for you.  And if you are able to achieve that much, then realize that sometimes, what works during one particular instance may not work during another.

Case in point:  Well over a decade ago a car accident smashed my tibia and took away my life for two years because that’s how long it took me to undergo the surgeries and physical therapy.  And a dozen years later almost to the date of the previous event, an SUV mowed me down at a red light crossing the street and broke the other leg.

I wasn’t very positive during either event, but I was, however, exceptionally motivated. I realized early on that if I didn’t have this going for me, then the alternative was not being able to walk again. This was motivation at gun point, but it still worked in spades, nonetheless.

But personally, I find that it is easier to rehab a shattered bone than it is to maintain a positive outlook, particularly when it seems like nothing substantive ever comes from walking off prolonged adversity with just a smile.

When the black, poison cloud stays permanently stationed directly overhead, what do you do–

Exercise? (Endorphins and adrenaline are two of my favorite chemicals, I must admit. But the buzz doesn’t last very long.)

Escape into a book? (Works nicely but again, longevity is a problem.)

Fall in love? (Please. Let’s come back to reality, shall we– No one wants to know you when you’re down & out.)

Listen to music? (Stay away from Pink Floyd and The Cure and you’ll probably be OK.)

Lose yourself by having sex? (Not likely. You’ll be lucky if you can persuade your own hand to participate if you’re in a black mood.)

Kill someone?  (You could exercise this option, but then you run into the age-old problem of where to hide the bodies and not everyone wants to help.)

I suppose that the argument can be made that if you didn’t think so hard about it in the first place then there wouldn’t be a problem. So to all those readers in the ignorance-is-bliss camp, congratulations are in order. You’ve figured out what works for you. (Or have you?)

But this particular mindset does not do a damn thing for me.

I think maybe the secret to staying positive is to avoid negative people and events and just fake it til you make it, but then again, this sounds suspiciously to me like willful blissful ignorance.

So I am putting the question to the readers to ask them to share with the rest of us what works for you?

And if not, then you can go fuck yourself.

Sideways.

With a chainsaw.

Twice.

Just kidding.

©2010 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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9 Responses to How to Remain Motivated & Postive

  1. Lisa Brandel says:

    I feel ya here, Peyton. My late husband had cancer and it always astounded me when the people around us spit out the rhetoric “Stay postive”. Making me more than once reply, “We are postive, very much so…that he is going to die, of that I’m very postive.” People who have experienced real pain and real depression rarely said that kind of “party line” crap though. I think because I have been through some shit, it makes me edit myself before giving pat BS pep up speak.
    I’ve lived with depression my whole life, been through some other crap, and personally I’ve found that there has never been one way to stay (or get back to) postive. It depends on what’s bringing you down, and where you are at the time, and some things just need to run their course. Ultimately, at least for me, I’ve found that no one else could give me even a speck of hope in the postive direction, that it always had to come from me in some way. Whether it was just holding on for another day, hoping and trying to change things. Or mebbe it was saying “it is what it is” or “Well at least it aint a sharp stick in the eye” (which does work unless it is a sharp stick in the eye)

    So all my own prattle aside here is my attempt at keeping you postive: Peyton, listen carefully, you are NOT Sarah Palin…Phhhhhewwww…isn’t that a relief. *hugs*

    • LOL – or worse, that other twat, Dr. Laura. Or worse than that, well, I will have to address that in another column. But that particular list is infinite.

      Thanks for your comment, Lisa 🙂

  2. Joanie Waller says:

    How to remain positive? Hummmm, For me you answered the questionin you first paragragh of this article. I dont believe that there is one person on earth that hasn’t experienced depression in one form or another. The fact that we are born means that we also will die. Therefore, Everyone will experience illness and death. We will all experience Gain and Happiness Sorrow and Loss. I am no exception.I have also had major loss in my life. But I have to stay positive. I have to. For my family and my friends. For me the ONLY thing that works is counting my blessings. No matter how bad things get.Someone else has it worse, so I need to feel useful, I need to be my Brothers Keeper, and have faith that there is something larger than myself controlling it all.

  3. THREE says:

    We endorse empathy. But one never knows what the other goes through, unless it actually happens to them.

    Oh but then again, everybody’s unique. With their own different perceptions of the same experience. Quote: “…what works during one particular instance may not work during another…” —bullseye.

    Opinion(s): (1) Reading the entire post, I get the feeling you (deliberately?) left out the “NOT” after “How to” in the heading. Duh.
    (2) But I read somewhere someone once mentioned that when you “allow every little bump in the road to completely derail (your) emotional well-being / choosing to wallow in own self-pity, try to drown it (with chemicals) / blame ones dramas on ‘depression’ — the more the event was amplified into a life destroying malady.” (I hope I don’t get sued for copy-pasting this snippet of someone’s ‘intellectual property’… yes, opinions count as that too, to me) 🙂

    (My) answer to the question in the post: (OK, the word “answer” would be incorrect) …look back and listen to yourself. I don’t have your answers. You don’t have mine. We only have our own. (But hey, sharing helps, emotionally/temporarily, I guess.) You’re still alive, right? Wonder why and how.

  4. Rachel says:

    Each day you can make a choice on how to view your circumstances. Not everyday are you going to make a good choice… and what may be the right choice for you, won’t be MY right choice… but you must choose.

    Recently someone told me that “but” is an ugly word. It is… think about it… it gets in the way of any goal you make for yourself. I would like to be happy BUT I work with idiots. Just leave as, “Today, I will be more content than yesterday.” It’s what helps me,anyway. Even when it sucks.

  5. Hilde says:

    Well, I guess you know my answers already. I believe in staying positive even if through all those past years it was for sure not always possible. As well, as it is not always possible right now. But I know too well that the moment, I allow those darkness to win over my mood, it will drain my life energy. And one thing is for sure, due to all those losses and catastrophies, pain and whatever, I learned to value those tiny moments, they may sound totally banal. But you are right, that works for me. I cannot order that as receipt. But me too, I believe in counting my blessings, because that focus my mind on the positive things which are there in the middle of all what is going on – and from what I have no chance to escape at the moment. I try to find contraweights, to do myself something good and even if it is just that bit self-care in between. I reactivated that old hobby, to make fotos with the intention to keep my eyes on the beauty of life, which is still around. Because if I would loose hope, what would I win. I have some weak moments, but then I just accept them and think: tomorrow I start new. I have a big responsibility for my child and that boy deserve a childhood of safety and comfort. And I want to teach him: whatever comes in your live, one can solve it somehow or overcome it, I want to give him the safety that his mother can handle bad events, even if they are part of life, like death, desease. So my receipt is: to never give up, to allow those pictures of better times and to allow somewhere little places in the own soul where one believe in some happiness. Besides, to go for friendship, true friendship, not surface blabla and to learn to share, to talk about it. I for myself give me in bad moments a time-limit, like: ok, one more hour of self-pity, but then I selebrate it with all drama, I watch one of those movies, where I can cry like a baby and that soul cleaning effect is helpful too. I hardly can bare myself then with that ridiculous red nose. And last: to think about all those bloody times I have already behind me and ha ha, I am still there, so to trust my own strength even in bad moments. One knows, one managed already so and so often.

  6. Hilde says:

    And after that night where pain kept me awake, I want to add another “novel”. What helps me for sure is that I just do not want to see myself as somebody who gave up, I do not want to see myself as some victim. That is a proud matter and a kind of self respect, something I owe to myself. After a really bloody night, it helps me to extra make myself nice, to extra celebrate the morning, to extra to something for myself. It really is a choice you can make. You can give up and follow those depressing circumstances of death around you, of no job, not enough money, beloved persons dying and and and and. But then, what do you win? You will have it harder until what? Until you shoot yourself? Then what did you win and what may come afterwards? An improvement, peace, nothing, all, eternity, everything, the whole journey again, Nirwana, worms or fire destroying my corps, whatever? For that I would not change my chance to try even harder. All I know is, it helps to keep the own dignity. Maybe that part is easier for me, because all my life I was a stubborn ass. You will never be able to walk… I extra walked. You will not be able to do, because you are a woman. I extra did. You will not… I extra… and I extra will not give up yet, even of course there are moments of deep despair in between. But extra… another day, new start. May that help anybody. I hope so. Do not give up. Extra not!

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