5 Things Friday

[Originally published April 30, 2010]

5 Things I Find Irritating

5.    Just because you are older than Methusalah does not entitle you to park in the crip spot without the appropriate handicap placard.

4.   Just because you sit in the car while your other assclown half goes into the store does not entitle you to park in the crip spot without the appropriate handicap placard.

3.  People who allow their animals (especially cats) to roam the ‘hood and then act surprised when the pet turns up “lost.”

2.  Leaf blowers.

1A.  Upstairs neighbors who vacuum, wash laundry and otherwise move shit across the floor at midnight and later.

1B.  Upstairs neighbors who won’t let their dogs into their bedrooms when they have overnight guests, and, the dog howls, yowls & whines all night long because of it.

5 Things That Are Positive But Happen Very Rarely

5.  People who let you ahead of them online because you have less stuff to ring out than they do.

4.  People who actually wait their turn while standing online in front of a deli that does not have a take-a-number system.

3.  Drivers who actually let pedestrians cross the street at the OK-To-Walk sign instead of driving up your ass because they can’t wait 10  seconds.

2.  Employees who work with the public such as at a supermarket who are pleasant to be around instead of surly and unhelpful such as public employees.

1.  Elderly people who are polite and pleasant and don’t think the world should throw roses at their feet.

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3 Responses to 5 Things Friday

  1. Tony says:

    I can relate to 1A. We had upstairs neighbours once, an elderly couple who always vacuumed very late at night. I don’t understand why the hell anyone would do that…

    I like your RSS Toast.

  2. Deej says:

    You can always make me lmao when you are mad @ the world…thank you for being so funny in your anger!

  3. THREE says:

    “Drivers who actually let pedestrians cross the street at the OK-To-Walk sign instead of driving up your ass because they can’t wait 10 seconds.” — wow… and I thought this was a rare sight in our “3rd World” countries only (if it’s still OK to call them that).

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