13 Facts About Friday the 13th

Today’s Yiddish word of the week has been pre-empted.  Happy Friday the 13th, bitchez!

1.  It is unclear why it is feared.  Some say the day is associated with a French king who gave the orders in 1307 to whack the Knights Templar on Friday 13th while others believe that Jesus Christ was crucified on Friday the 13th.

2.  And yet the myth of bad luck persists.  So much so that some suffer mental illness because of the fear of Friday the 13th.  Friggatriskaidekaphobia or paraskevidekatriaphobia.  Friggatriskaidekaphobia comes from Frigg, the Norse goddess of wisdom after whom Friday is named, and the Greek words triskaideka, meaning 13, and phobia, meaning fear. Paraskevidekatriaphobia is also derived from Greek: paraskeví translates as Friday, and dekatria is another way of saying 13.

3.  The fear of Friday the 13th is contagious.  And affects millions of people.   The profit margins of airlines are especially affected because of the widespread belief that the number 13 is unlucky.

4.  Friday the 13th usually happens in threes.  All years will have at least a single instance of the day but there can’t be more than three in any given year.  The longest the calendar goes without seeing a Friday the 13th is 14 months.

5.  Sunday is to blame for Friday the 13th.  For a month to have a Friday the 13th, the month must begin on a Sunday.

6.  Friday the 13th patterns repeat.  Whenever a common year begins on a Thursday, the months of February, March and November will have a Friday the 13th.  This will happen 11 times in the 21st Century.   The Feb-Mar-Nov pattern repeats in a 28 year cycle.  The cycle began in 2009.  This won’t happen for 11 more years until 2026 and then we’ll wait another 11 years until 2037 to see another Feb-Mar-Nov Friday the 13th trifecta.

7.  Leap years are not exempt.  If January 1 of a leap year falls on a Sunday, the months of Jan-Apr-Jul will each have a Friday the 13th.  This happened in 1928, 1956 and 1984.  This will happen another four times in 2012, 2068 and 2096 thereby perpetuating the 28-year-cycle again.

8.  Alfred Hitchcock was born on Friday the 13th.  Hitchcock is considered the master of suspense and was born August 13, 1899.  He made his debut with a movie called Number 13 but the film was plagued with financial trouble.

9.  It is unlucky but only for some.  Friday the 13th is not universal.  In Italy, it is Friday the 17th that is considered unlucky while the number 13 is considered lucky.

10.  Fear of Friday the 13th is a mental illness, at best.  There is very little to zero evidence that Friday the 13th is unlucky.  Studies have shown that the day has little or no effect whatsoever on accidents, hospital visits and natural disasters.

11.  The day caused a windfall for a film series.  The Friday the 13th franchise includes 12 horror movies, a TV series and several books that focus on curses and superstitions.  Jason Voorhees and his old skool hockey mask is one of the most recognized images in pop culture.

12.  Safety & Accident Awareness.  Finland dedicated Friday the 13th as National Accident Day in 1995 to raise awareness about safety–at home, in the workplace and on the road.

13.  Asteroid on Friday the 13th.  On April 13, 2029, an asteroid discovered in 2004 and named 99942 Apophis will safely fly by Earth.

 

5 Things Friday

[Originally published April 30, 2010]

5 Things I Find Irritating

5.    Just because you are older than Methusalah does not entitle you to park in the crip spot without the appropriate handicap placard.

4.   Just because you sit in the car while your other assclown half goes into the store does not entitle you to park in the crip spot without the appropriate handicap placard.

3.  People who allow their animals (especially cats) to roam the ‘hood and then act surprised when the pet turns up “lost.”

2.  Leaf blowers.

1A.  Upstairs neighbors who vacuum, wash laundry and otherwise move shit across the floor at midnight and later.

1B.  Upstairs neighbors who won’t let their dogs into their bedrooms when they have overnight guests, and, the dog howls, yowls & whines all night long because of it.

5 Things That Are Positive But Happen Very Rarely

5.  People who let you ahead of them online because you have less stuff to ring out than they do.

4.  People who actually wait their turn while standing online in front of a deli that does not have a take-a-number system.

3.  Drivers who actually let pedestrians cross the street at the OK-To-Walk sign instead of driving up your ass because they can’t wait 10  seconds.

2.  Employees who work with the public such as at a supermarket who are pleasant to be around instead of surly and unhelpful such as public employees.

1.  Elderly people who are polite and pleasant and don’t think the world should throw roses at their feet.

Top 10 Funniest Poop Scenes

10. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

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Austin Powers shows No. 2 just who he works for.

9. Not Another Teen Movie

Three horny teens climb into the drop ceiling at their school to spy on the girl’s restroom and get a lot more than they bargained for.

8. Friday

Craig’s Dad has a heart-to-heart chat with him in the head after he loses his job on his day off.

7. Caddyshack

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Just when you thought it was safe to get back into the water…

6. American Pie

“Shitbreak” learns to take a dump in a public restroom instead of going home to do it.

5. Dumb & Dumber

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When taking Turbolax, make sure the toilet works before you explode into it.

4. Along Came Polly

A handmade tea towel doesn’t make for suitable wiping material and a loofah especially doesn’t work very well as a plunger.

3. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

You sank my battleshit!

2. Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Never put a chocolate bar in your back pocket then sit on the radiator located in the house of the girl you want to impress.

1. Van Wilder

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Drinking a protein shake mixed with Colon Blow before taking your medical school exam may cause unintended & painful results.