Prattle Me A Scam, Scumbag

Apropos of probably the fact that I recently opened a new line of credit, I’ve been phished not once but twice in as many days.

If you’re not up on your InfoSec terminology, phishing is a fraudulent attempt to obtain confidential information. It is a cybercrime perpetrated by someone posing as an authorized entity for the purpose of luring unwary individuals into disclosing sensitive data such as usernames and passwords which the scammer can then use illicitly.

The target is typically contacted via email, telephone or text message disguised as legitimate communication. Save reporting it to the institution that was spoofed–in my case, Wells Fargo bank–there’s not a whole lot can be done about it. (Assuming you did not fall for the con, that is, in which case that is an entirely new level of misery) I’m writing about it as a public service to alert readers that phishing scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated. It’s not enough just to be aware phishing exists. In fact, in order to protect yourself, you have to dig a little deeper than obvious red flags that bludgeon you with comical errors.

At first glance, the two phishing attempts that targeted me looked absolutely legit. Even the telephone numbers checked out but then I’m quite sure the criminal counted on the fact that most people would rather use their shiny eight hundred dollars worth of smartphone technology rather than placing a tired old, antiquated phone call.

Further, there was none of the usual grammar and spelling errors which are part and parcel of a phish attempted by a criminal who does not speak English.

For example, a typical phishing expedition would have included something along the lines of:

If you havent recieve you card call us at 800-WE-GOODE.

Or some other obvious grammatical and/or spelling error.

And a less discerning person may have taken the bait simply by virtue of the fact that not only was his name included in the greeting but it was also spelled correctly rather than the generic Dear Valued Customer which is SOP for scams of this nature. You may be wondering how a scammer would know your name and that you have accounts at Wells Fargo bank but hold that thought.

Behold the Scumbaggery

Exhibit Alpha – Activate Your Card

Exhibit Bravo – Deposit Your Check with a Smartphone

Given my natural state of vigilance and suspicion combined with a heaping helping of information security as a side gig, I don’t want to say that it is impossible to scam me but, in reality, it will be quite the frosty day in Hell when I’d be dumb enough to click on a link contained within an unsolicited message especially from a high profile bank that encouraged me to activate a credit card and another link in another message to deposit a check with a smartphone. Ain’t happenin’, Jimmy. And any bank that sends such correspondence to you should be reported to the state and federal Attorneys General offices accordingly.

Returning to the question of how a scammer would know your personal details such as name and accounts, the answer is they don’t. At least, not usually, unless, of course, your identity has been compromised. But Wells Fargo has a significant presence in financial markets sufficient for scumbags to gamble (and usually guess correctly) that a satisfying portion of their target audience probably would. And even if you did not, there are those out there who may still click on the links anyway because they mistakenly believe that they have hit the FICO jackpot–

Hey, I don’t even have an account at Wells Fargo and I never applied for credit but they want to give me free money, woo hoo! Let me click on that link right now and give my social security number, username, password AND mother’s maiden name! What could possibly go wrong?

Even the return address domain seemed kosher but still smelled like unadulterated dog shit to me.

Always check the headers

A quick trace and peek into the WHOIS database yielded that connect.wellsfargoemail.com resolves back to Cheetahmail which appears to be a legitimate business entity. And presumably, the Cheetahmail domain has been spoofed/hijacked for the purpose of scamming unsuspecting consumers, but I have no way of knowing for sure. Maybe the administrative contact named below in the public record spends his free time perpetrating cybercrime?

Suffice to say, after having forwarded both phishing attempts to Wells, I have not received a response nor do I expect to mostly because the fraud department does not inspire confidence. While I was researching the connect.wellsfargoemail.com domain I found a previous thread in @Ask_WellsFargo twitter feed and its operator either could not or would not answer the question whether connect.wellsfargoemail.com even belonged to the bank. Shouldn’t an account named “Ask Wells Fargo” possess fundamental knowledge about the organization it purports to speak for on social media?

A logical person would assume that Ask Wells Fargo would at least be peripherally aware as to what domains Wells Fargo actually owns, but you’d be mistaken if you thought the official twitter feed served any other purpose than mindless, happy, shiny marketing drivel which is exactly why you have to possess a working knowledge of what are and where to find email headers. In fact, stay tuned for an upcoming tutorial on that particular subject matter. Until next time, don’t click on any links from within your email, especially for special deals and services from financial and banking entities.

Prattle Encore | OpenCongress v. OpenSecrets

[The following is an encore piece that was originally published on 1 March 2010]

OpenCongress is a free open source endeavor of the Participatory Politics Foundation and the Sunlight Foundation. The latter are nonprofit organizations whose shared mission is focused on web development, specifically, websites for “engagement” with government.

If you are an engaged and civic-minded voter, then OpenCongress has several useful features. It pulls information from THOMAS and GovTrack, predominantly, as well as from other sources such as Technorati and the YouTube Senate and House hubs. The navigation of the site is almost of a social networking vibe in that users can create profiles, add friends, and participate in discussion. There is even a built in Wiki that users can contribute to, as well as a blog, and website widgets tool to track bills and Congressional representatives.

Additionally, there is a bill, voting record and money trail tracker that will help you to keep tabs on your elected federal officials once you create a profile. Adding the money trail component was a nice touch, but if OpenCongress wants to blow its own horn as the premier site to “track” government, then the money trail tracker needs a hell of a lot more improvement.  Voters want to see who is pulling the strings after the money is deposited in Congressional bank accounts.

Although the money trail feature is broken down by industry, there is no way to discern when the money was shoveled into the representative’s coffers or how much was contributed by any given company. There is simply the rep’s name and the amount of money he or she received collectively by industry for the pertinent session of Congress. On the OpenSecrets website, following the money trail is vastly more comprehensive because you can see the name of the company and exactly how much they paid to purchase an advocate for their interests.

This is a very prominent feature because as everyone who has been paying attention lately knows, the Supreme Court has just ruled in the Citizen’s United decision that the United States will continue to have the best government that money can buy, only we’re not going to call it bribery, we’re going to call it free speech, instead. Since voting will no longer matter, and, the buying off of a Congressional representative is now codified into law, I think it is imperative that voters be able to see exactly how much each corporation donates to each tool representative. That way at least we’ll know which company to attribute the non-stop ass rape to once their bought-and-paid for whore representative(s) start sponsoring and getting bills passed in the pimp’s corporate person’s favor.

I like the OpenCongress site and plan to use it, but I do have one, minor quibble. The website design assumes that anyone using it has a widescreen monitor. If you don’t happen to have such a monitor, then half of the page is cut off unless you scroll over horizontally. Hello PPF and Sunlight Foundation? After fifteen years of being accustomed to seeing everything on the page without having to do anything except load the url in the browser, I personally find having to scroll over exceptionally inconvenient and annoying. And with double digit national and state unemployment figures, not everyone has the extra scratch to run out and buy a 27-inch widescreen, flat panel computer monitor. It’s a nice thought, but let’s pull our heads out of our asses and be more realistic.  Fix the site so that everyone can view it comfortably whether or not they’ve got a widescreen monitor.

OpenSecrets is a nonprofit company whose website makes it easy to follow the money. They’ve been around for a number of years first publishing the influence of money in elections in printed format back in 1983, and then in 1992, launched the website, which included tracking individual donations in addition to corporate.

In many ways, OpenSecrets is a lot more comprehensive than OpenCongress, and, makes the latter look amateurish and cheesy, but used in conjunction with each other, offers the absolute fastest and most convenient way to discover and study Congressional processes, and, the representatives we pay to collect payoffs campaign contributions, vote themselves lavish salaries and titanium plated benefits, lie, cheat, steal, obfuscate, deny, and, otherwise take off more time than any working American has ever had the privilege of experiencing.

You don’t have to be a beltway insider to know which way the wind blows if you use either site to its fullest advantage.

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©2010 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

And the Hits Just Keep On Coming

In keeping with the banking industry’s on-going ass rape of consumers, Wells Fargo recently created some new fees for our convenience.

Note:  Convenient only if you’re Wells Fargo, AKA Wachovia on the east coast.

Below is a listing of the new fees as of 30 April 2010.

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If you use one of the too big to fail banks, then you may want to consider joining the national movement and moving your money to a credit union.  I would, but given the fact that I would have to drive *miles out of my way to find a credit union ATM keeps me at Wells.

For those of you not on the west coast and/or unfamiliar with traffic, allow me to translate as follows.

*Miles = Trying to drive from A to B in 3 feet of snow with bald tires, an arbitrarily stalling transmission, & sleet in -10° with no plowing or rock salt to speak of.

Fun with Substitute Tax Return Forms

By midnight, 15 April of each year, Americans must have filed their personal state and federal taxes.  Normally, this is accomplished by your employer having given you your annual W-2 wage report.  But let’s say that your previous employer was a deadbeat douche and didn’t bother to provide you with the required report.   How then are you supposed to file the requisite taxes on your earnings?

After all, we wouldn’t want the poor, mega-billion dollar corporations such as Goldman Sachs, et al. to have to shoulder the tremendous patriotic duty of paying for 2 wars, subsidizing Big Pharma, and bailing out banks supporting the federal government alone, would we?  Of course not.

One day, in a land and time far, far, away,  you and I will both be billionaires, just like the television says so, and, then we will be able to afford tax lawyers to set up trusts in order to exploit loopholes in the tax code but in the meantime, we’re stuck being little people and have to report every nickel of our income instead of sheltering it offshore in the Caymans.  In fact, the federal government has a special message just for all us taxpayers.

The IRS has Form 4852 for those whose employers did not provide a W-2 wage report, and, the State of California has Form 3525 available.  Check with your own state government website for the appropriate tax forms.

UPDATE

Good news for residents of the Golden State, you may be one of the millions who qualifies to use Calfile, the California Franchise Tax Board’s free and direct e-file.   Check out who qualifies here.

How to Get Screwed in Court in 8 Easy Steps

1. Have a tax arbitrarily assessed upon you for driving.  Also known as a speeding ticket.
2. Indicate to the court on the day of your arraignment that you plead not guilty, and, reserve the right to go to traffic school per Rule of Court 4.104(c)(3).
3. During your court trial, object per California Evidence Code §§ 771 and 1237 that the prosecution’s witness has not properly laid the foundation to read directly from his notes and be overruled.
4. During the same trial, indicate to the court that during your arraignment, you reserved the right to go to traffic school per the appropriate rule of court and still be denied the right to attend.
5. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness did not bother to tell you why he pulled you over, or show you the speed he supposedly clocked you driving at.
6. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness has no case because he has not proven anything and has instead simply read back why he issued the ticket.
7. Point out to the court the prosecution’s witness has not bothered to answer any questions upon cross-examination and has simply regurgitated the reason for issuing the citation instead of answering the defense’s questions.
8. Point out to the court that the prosecution’s witness does not understand how lidar works since he was not able to explain it during cross-examination.

For any John Q. Patriotic brain dead Americans out there who still labor under the delusion that traffic tickets are about safety instead of revenue generation, I encourage you to attend traffic court and behold the obfuscation, lies, denial, and outright screw-overs perpetrated upon traffic citation defendants by the Superior Court in Orange County.

To characterize the proceedings as a Kangaroo Court is putting it charitably.   It’s more like a lost skit from Monty Python and the joke is on you.

Oorah for Me

Above referenced is the wage claim I mentioned a few days ago.  Pertinent information has been redacted to preserve the privacy of the parties involved.  All you need to know is that I beat the greedy prick.

Sometimes, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters as much as the size of the fight in the dog.

©2009-2011 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Odyssey of a Wage Claim

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NOTE:  If you would like to view the official case file for help with your own wage claim, then please contact me offline  for details.  I will make available my materials for a nominal fee.

Not that any further evidence is needed that the State of California is in the toilet, the above referenced image is a timeline of how long it will take should an employee need to file a wage claim against his deadbeat employer for nonpayment.  Of course, for 2010, the wait time is probably longer because the State is a lot more broke than it was last February.

Referring to the image, you can see that you will be waiting quite some time just to receive an initial hearing date.  Hopefully, you didn’t actually need the money your deadbeat employer owes you because you will probably never see it.  At least not in the short term.  Perhaps later, when the Judgment is attached as alien to his estate when the greedy, old, prick croaks, and, if the State has located all the money he has hidden from the IRS so as to avoid paying the appropriate taxes on his salary, but most assuredly not any time soon.

After the initial hearing, you will then wait several more months for the conference.  After waiting five (5) months to get the conference date, the DLSE continued mine from mid-December to mid-January.  It was awfully thoughtful to give themselves a break for the holidays, don’t you think?

Once you attend the conference, a Judgment will be rendered by the Labor Commission in fifteen (15) days, or so I was told.  Thereafter, assuming Judgment was made in your favor, the Franchise Tax Board will then go after the deadbeat to attempt collection of the debt.   If the deadbeat ignores those attempts, the debt then goes into collections just like any other debt.

Realistically, I realize that I can’t get blood from a stone, or in this case, from a deadbeat douche who not only willfully bounced my paycheck, but also, did not bother to pay state or federal taxes on my salary despite having removed them.  However, I filed the claim simply because sometimes, in the absence of having the avaricious cocksucker’s legs broken,  you just have to fight on the principle of the matter.

Update

Please see Oorah for Me for the outcome of this case.

Disclaimer:  Not all wage claims will result in judgment for the plaintiff. Retaining legal counsel is not a requirement, however, be aware that filing the claim in pro per will be challenging if you are not familiar with how it works, particularly in calculating what is owed.  Your mileage can and will vary, but if you’re going to go at it alone, then make sure you thoroughly read and comprehend the Labor Commissioner’s website on procedure.

Additionally, I am a Paralegal with previous Employment Law experience, and, am well versed in form completion, drafting and submitting wage claims. Plus I’m just one of those people that if you’re going to knock me down, then you better make sure I stay down because when I get back up, your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower.  This characteristic helps immensely when dealing with douches who are accustomed to screwing over employees with impunity.

That my previous douche employer did not bother to respond to the Labor Commissioner throughout the course of an entire year only made the case a slam dunk for me.   Essentially, the employer slit his own throat by ignoring official correspondence that was legally served upon him.  But the Labor Commissioner would have found in my favor even if said employer had appeared at any of the hearings simply because it is not an option to whine about personal issues and use it as an affirmative defense for not paying employees.

©2009-2011 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Another Douchebag Banker

In 1993, a successful Ukiah, California business couple -Viola and Oscar Allen- having no living heirs, set up a trust fund so that female graduates of Ukiah High School wishing to pursue a career in medical studies would have a perpetual scholarship available to them. The Allens then appointed James L. Harrison, 62, former VP of the local Savings Bank of Mendocino County, as trustee. But instead of distributing the trust assets after their deaths to the scholarship, Mr. Harrison used the Allen Trust as his own personal piggy bank for fourteen years.

State prosecutors presented evidence that beginning in the mid 1990s, Harrison “surreptitiously stole trust funds and committed tax evasion.” An agent assigned to the state special crimes unit presented a detailed history of the alleged account abuses in a fourteen page declaration filed in the criminal case.

State investigators eventually accused Harrison of embezzling approximately $421,638.00 from the trust account. Included was $129,987 in trust money diverted by Harrison over a nine year period to a daughter for her rent, vehicle purchase, school supplies, and a down payment on a home. As well as cash totaling $72,039 taken from the trust and deposited directly into Harrison’s personal bank accounts; use of a $72,782 to help purchase lake front property; purchase of a Chevy Tahoe SUV in the amount of $30,255; use of $123,000 to invest in the local airport in his own name; and purchase of $21,375 Savings Bank stock shares in his own name; and payment of personal credit card balances totaling $11,600.

Harrison also spent $49,360 of trust money on attorney fees for the criminal and civil cases stemming from the embezzlement charges.

In a 2007 deposition relating to the civil suit, Harrison said that any money he took from the trust “was money Viola Allen would have given him anyway as he was the son she never had.”

In February 2009, Harrison entered no contest pleas to felonies on three different counts and received a sweetheart sentence in return.

So for:

• Misappropriation of trust assets (Penal Code §§ 487/506);
• Filing willfully false tax returns (Revenue and Taxation Code § 19705(a)(1));
• Admittedly taking in excess of $200,000 (Penal Code § 12022.6(a)(2))

Harrison received a year’s sentence in county jail and three years probation.

That’s not a bad deal for getting caught looting over half a million dollars of a charitable trust fund for fourteen years.

Additional terms of his case include a lifetime ban from serving as trustee of any charitable trust, as well as a lifetime ban from serving as a Director, Officer, or in any fiduciary position that affect money management of assets controlled by any charitable trust or any nonprofit entity. But cheer up, Jim, the terms of your sentencing do not prohibit you from working for Goldman Sachs or any of the other Big Four banks that controls 40% of  market share. So you can always go work for a “too big to fail” national bank and put the screws to the rest of us in the same manner they are.

See, the way it works when you’re a white-collar banking criminal is that when you’re entrusted with over half a rock to set up a trust fund for a scholarship, putting the money into your own pocket instead is OK because you could claim that the clients who appointed you would have just given it to you anyway.

I mean, that’s why they asked you to set up a charitable scholarship fund.  Because really, they wanted you to have all the money, but their mouths weren’t working correctly that day.  Fortunately for your clients, however, you’re part of the  psychic friends network.

Of course, you would make this claim only after the clients were dead. It wouldn’t be a convenient excuse or anything, it would be completely credible because you, the big wheel, elite investment banker, said so.

Fiduciary duty, my ass. There are more substantive penalties for welfare fraud than there are for embezzling money.

Note here that this fact is also why the entire global economy is in a meltdown. So much for “change” we can believe in, eh?

Rock on, Chowdah Ken, you’re just another tool in a long line, and, Caribou Barbie probably has more brain cells than you do, but the Commonwealth of Massachusetts just proved that liberal Democrats are the flip side of the same conservative Republican coin.

Meet the new boss, same as the old one.

Douchebags, one and all.

©2010 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Another Credit Bureau to Screw You

Ever hear of L2C, Inc.? Me neither. Evidently, the outfit is a little known privately held credit bureau and has been around peddling confidential consumer data since the year 2000, or so claims BusinessWeek. If I sound a little angry, you will have to excuse me because I have nothing but contempt for credit bureaus. They epitomize everything that is so very wrong with the business of brokering private data for profit to the ever intrusive establishment.

As anyone who has attempted credit repair can attest, the process is time consuming, tedious and exasperated by credit bureau ineptitude.  It is not unusual to have to keep checking to ensure that the corrections you want on file have actually been implemented. Sisyphus has nothing on consumers who attempt credit repair.

These companies are also impossible to work with in simply obtaining a copy of your own file, particularly if you have a mailing address that is different from your residential address. The FCRA is supposed to keep the credit bureaus under control and also to make them consumer friendly so that you can obtain your credit history file in a timely manner, but there is no recourse if a bureau simply refuses to hand over your file to you.  Case in point:  I have spent the past year trying to gain access to my file from TransUnion.  I have jumped through each and every one of their hoops to prove my identity, and still, after multiple copies of multiple documents submitted multiple times, the credit bureau still won’t send my file.

Sure, a complaint can be filed with the FTC, and that may make you feel slightly better, but don’t count on anything substantial occurring on your behalf because the FTC is as useless as any other bloated, corporate lapdog, anti-consumer,  federal agency.  But let’s return to the subject.

Oh the Irony

I became aware of L2C a few days ago when the company was mentioned in the WSJ regarding paycheck peeks. Allow me to interject here the irony of credit bureaus priding themselves on weeding out undesirable consumers they deem unworthy of a credit line at the same time the banksters lobbied and paid their Congressional whores for the repeal of the  Glass-Steagall Act, which was passed back in 1933 as a direct result of the first Great Depression. It took eleven attempts by Congress, but the twelfth was the clincher.  And here we are, ten years later, and, the banksters are reaping exactly what they have sown.

Be careful not to step in the great, steaming pile of sardonicism as you consider that for every deadbeat debtor there exists an even bigger deadbeat creditor.  Let’s be clear:  Debtors complicate their own lives if they don’t pay their bills.  Creditors FUBAR the entire global economy.

AIG et al. wanted to be able to extend credit to everyone and his dog without any restrictions or oversight whatsoever, and, with the repeal of Glass-Steagall, they got precisely what they wanted, but now, you see, the double-digit unemployment on Main Street is the exclusive fault of debtors because they have overextended themselves into foreclosure, or so sayeth Wall Street and their bobbleheaded fanbois.

And hey, really, what better way is there to screw over consumers even moreso then the further intrusion into your life and privacy with yet another confidential consumer data collector that is just as bumbling, incompetent and even more consumer averse than the others?  Surely, Americans won’t mind yet another obstructionist bureaucracy that holds the keys to their lives?

Obtaining Your File

But perhaps I am being unfair. After all, this was just my initial impression of L2C and I hadn’t even dealt with them yet. So I decided to contact the company on their toll-free line since their website conveniently does not include any information whatsoever as to how a consumer may obtain a copy of his file. At least the other three national credit bureaus make it easy to order a copy directly from their company websites, but not L2C.  It’s like L2C doesn’t even want you to know that you have the right to see what information about you they’re selling.

To further underscore L2C’s antipathy towards consumers, when writing this piece, I was prohibited from posting a hyperlink to any portion of the company’s website because there is a blurb in its Terms of Service regarding having to obtain specific written permission first. In the event permission was granted, it would be limited and only if the link did not portray the company in a negative light. Translation: Scraping, bowing and groveling for approval, and if granted, sugar-coating only when linking to the name L2C or else.

I find it exceptionally difficult not to ridicule companies like L2C.   They are so intolerant of anything that does not worship and throw roses at its brand name that they have their legal counsel draft website terms and conditions in an attempt to quash by decree any criticism of the company.  It is precisely because of companies with this kind of feudal overlord mentality that the EFF exists.

The chucklehead I spoke with was completely and utterly aghast when I inquired as to how to go about obtaining a copy of my file. She just could not wrap her tiny little mind around why I would want it and told me so.  Imagine that, dear reader – Asking for a copy of your confidential credit history is considered a highly unusual request by the L2C people!

Why in the world would you EVER want to know what kind of sensitive data with your name and national ID number federal barcode generational wealth transfer number social security number is available on corporately owned, and probably unsecured servers that contain every major commercial transaction you have ever been involved with that is bought and sold by creditors on a regular basis with or without your consent, and, influences every facet of your life from renting an apartment or buying a home to securing gainful employment?

Seriously, I just cannot fathom as to why that file would be so important.  Won’t someone please explain to the bumpkins answering the phones at L2C?

I resisted the impulse to reach through the phone and bitch slap the rep, and instead, calmly explained to her that I simply wanted a copy of my information in L2C’s possession. She then read some BS script to me about how IF anything existed in their files then it would be mailed to me within “14 days,” but if there was nothing, then I would not receive any kind of notification. However, I could request in writing and send $10.00 for a copy of a report that may or may not exist. In either case, it would have to be done in writing and either way, L2C could not confirm or deny a file even exists.

So, let’s recap here – a file in L2C’s possession containing my confidential credit history may or may not exist, but they are not able to confirm or deny said existence. And, if I want a copy of this file, then I’d have to cough up ten bucks for the privilege. No mention, however, as to whether that money would be refunded in the event L2C decides the file does not exist. Isn’t that just brilliant?

Despite the fact that L2C apparently pats itself on the back as being FCRA and ECOA-compliant, I feel a letter is in order reminding them as to exactly what their legal obligations are because the only thing I enjoy more than responding to a nastigram is writing one.

©2010 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Shaken Down with a Smile

If you’re going to fight a citation, then the arraignment is the time to make pre-trial motions, particularly those pertaining to discovery.   If the defendant doesn’t lodge one, there won’t be an opportunity later.

I attempted to make a motion requesting a hearing on the discovery I had previously served upon the prosecution before the arraignment date, only to be told by the temporary judiciary employee, er, I mean, Commissioner, that I was not entitled to receive the item I had asked for with my discovery request, therefore, a hearing on whether or not it was admissible was not granted.

The word “slick”  does not begin to describe traffic court in sunny Stepford, otherwise known as the County of Orange.   By the time I left the courthouse, I had an overwhelming urge to stop and double check that I still had in my possession both my wallet and private parts because the experience at the table in front of the Commissioner’s bench felt an awful lot like a shake down more than an arraignment.  But for one, every motion and recitation of case law and rules of court was completely glossed over and brushed off.

The only positives  were that I was granted release upon my own recognizance instead of having to post bail, and the trial date was surprisingly calendared in a speedy manner per the statute.

Resolution Reflections

I don’t usually bother with New Year resolutions because I don’t need a grandiose event to resolve to change something in my life.  However, if I am pressed to provide one in order to fit in with the rest of Facebook society, then my resolution is to stop listening to and reading any economic forecasting predicted for the upcoming year.

The Magic 8-ball has a better chance of predicting the economic future of the United States than any so called experts.  All we really know for sure is that anyone who has to work for a living (and who isn’t in the banking or automotive industry) is deeply, desperately (and probably irrevocably) fucked for at least the next decade due to the greedheads who caused the current recession.

That some of the banksters have paid back a piddly fraction of the Great Taxpayer Bailout of 2008 monies is irrelevant because the damage is done.   State and national unemployment levels remain in the double digits and will probably stay that way since the entire American economy has been a house of cards built on consumer debt for as long as I’ve been alive.

We no longer manufacture anything (except shitty gas guzzlers); Big Bu$ine$$ remains firmly in control of the federal government, and salaries on Main Street haven’t kept pace with cost of living and inflation for the past forty years.  Meanwhile, Obama gets a version of the healthcare bill on the Congre$$ional table,  and, true to SOP for the overpaid clusterfuck known as Congress,  it is nothing but a giant, steaming pile.   BTW, Congress is the only other government entity that makes the California State Legislature look productive and functional.

Included in a bill filled with numerous negatives guaranteed to FUBAR the situation even worse than it already is, the only positive is the inclusion of preexisting conditions.    It would seem to me that if the Congressional aristocracy truly wanted to “fix” the healthcare debacle in this country they would have either put laws in place to return healthcare to the pre-Nixon Administration days of being about people instead of profits, or, in the alternative, simply included every single citizen on its own 24k gold plated bennies plan.  The billions already spent bailing out Obama’s Wall Street buddies -not to be confused with the Deciderer’s buddies- could have easily covered every man, woman and child in the U.S.

But then what am I saying here – This is America.  Unless the recipient is a member of Congress, healthcare isn’t about covering anyone’s health needs;  It’s about providing services to whomever can afford it,  bitches loud and long enough to get it, or, who falls into a politically expedient category.   Everyone else can suck it, Trebek.

Healthcare recipients seem to fall into four main categories:

1. Those whose employer sponsored  health insurance has never been put to the test as with a catastrophic illness are happy, along with the providers,  to keep the status quo;
2. Retired and enjoying taxpayer subsidized services via Medicare;
3. Downtrodden and enjoying taxpayer subsidized services via Medicaid;
4. Everyone else.

With these kind of stats, the new national motto should be:  The United States:  Better healthcare than Somalia!

The late, great George Carlin used to say that the delusion we’re all brainwashed to believe by the plantation owners from cradle to grave is called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Welcome Back

Now that you’ve finished gorging, boozing, lounging on the couch, sleeping in late, and have otherwise consumed enough calories to pack on an additional 20 lbs. in a mere three days, let me just take this time to welcome you back to reality.

BTW, in the event you need something to keep you motivated at the job you despise:

• Statewide unemployment is still at 12.2%, and, nationally, it hasn’t moved from 9.5%.
• The banksters et al. are continuing to enjoy their $700 billion and counting bonuses, with even more debt planned by the Congressional aristocracy for the chumps taxpayers.

On the other hand, Californians who voted against Propositions 1A thru 1E last May, can take comfort -however small- in the fact that elected official pay has been cut by 18% as a result.

It’s not sufficient financial hurt to put on the idiots State lawmakers and elected officials in my opinion, but hey, it’s a start.

Enjoy your day.

The California EDD – Tenth Circle of Hell

(The redacted version of this story was published by the Voice of San Diego on 16 December 2009.)

If you have ever tried to contact the California Employment Development Department, then you know that you have entered the tenth circle of Dante’s Hell from which there is no exit. This is noteworthy because The Dark One himself is half-encased in ice on the ninth level in the center of Cocytus, along with other traitors and miscreants. But then this should come as no surprise to taxpayers domiciled in the Golden State.

We’ve been witnessing various levels of fraud and malice from State Government since long before the current economic downturn. It has just become a lot more pronounced lately since the State Treasury is, once again, well over a billion dollars in debt and counting.

Back in July, Treasury was issuing registered warrants, which is a sugar coated way of referring to an IOU. And with each successive budget approval, Ahnold and the Democrat-controlled State Legislature has given, and, continues to give numerous tax breaks to their corporate pals at the expense of social services to everyone else during the worst economic crises in California since the Great Depression.

According to data compiled by the EDD, the unemployment rate for the State for the month of October was 12.5%, with double digit percentages for each of the 58 counties. What this means in practical terms to anyone with an unemployment claim is that if you should need to contact the EDD, then you will spend a great majority of your time dialing and redialing the UI line only to reach automated announcement hell.

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter

Once inside the gates, the caller is assaulted with varying announcements. The message exhorting the claimant to file on the website is especially long due to the overly careful articulation of the URL address. The EDD wants to make certain that you don’t interrupt their day by filing a claim over the phone. It’s off to the interwebs for you, you worthless douche. You just lost your job, and you don’t know how you’re going to make rent this month, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have an Internet connection.

If the caller stays on the line long enough, then he will eventually hear all of the latest miscellaneous hot air breathlessly spewed by the ditzy voicemail actress. And just when you think you’ve reached the end because the voice prompt tells you that your call is being transferred, the line is disconnected due to “current call volumes.”

The claimant then has to call back when the lines aren’t so tied up, but there is never a time when the EDD UI line isn’t on overload. Funny how all those infusions of fresh employees and extended hours isn’t enough to help the EDD get its act together to handle demand.

Even during times of plenty, getting a live rep on the line was like finding a parking spot at the mall on Black Friday, but now, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning twice than you do of reaching a live rep at the EDD.

If you are not fully acquainted with those odds, allow me to refresh your memory.

Red Tape At Its Finest

The EDD exemplifies everything that is wrong with a government run bureaucracy staffed by unaccountable, life time employees. The claimant is already demoralized and behind the financial eight-ball, but now, he also gets to experience the special brand of clusterfuck that only the EDD can provide. And, just as a bonus, it’s all part of the EDDs FUBAR goodliness!

Trust Us, We’re Here to Help You

Withholding information is considered fraudulent, and, is punishable by fine and/or a permanent denial of benefits. This was a lesson that I had learned the hard way years ago after my first pink slip party when I was still employed in the I.T. industry.

There was a grand total of $5.00 that went unreported, a fact that the bureaucrats at the EDD seized upon immediately. It was an oversight on my part; I neglected to accurately report the income I had earned from a temp job.

The EDD moved faster to disqualify me for fraud than they did when I was initially laid off and opened the claim. If only Congress had put in a fraction of comparable oversight on the bailouts, AIG et al. wouldn’t be living large dispensing million dollar bonuses to the same people who caused the current economic meltdown.

But if you indicate on the form of your already established claim that you have changed your address, were paid a few hours as an independent contractor, or worked as a temp, then any of these items will typically cause a red flag to be raised and a telephonic interview to be scheduled. And because the EDD is so backlogged, you can count on at least a month or longer delay to your claim subsequent to that scheduled telephonic. Translation: All payments are stopped.

Eat the Bluepill

My latest encounter with the merciless indifference of the faceless bureaucracy came when an individual identifying himself as a supervisor contacted me to inform me that he had “mistakenly” canceled my telephonic interview, and, was unable to reschedule it because the computerized system would not allow him to. He then went on to detail to me how overworked and unnerved EDD employees had become as a result of the furloughs.

Imagine my concern for his plight. Not only was I getting screwed out of my check that month due to their mistake, but I was also treated to the official sob story as to how bad state workers have it because of the economy. Now that’s what I call a shit sandwich special with a heaping helping side of insult to injury.

I guess it never occurred to the wizards at the EDD that the claimants they deal with on a daily basis are unemployed, just like it probably never occurs to them that the rancor towards government employees expressed by the general public is specifically attributable to stunts such as inexplicably canceling telephonic interviews and otherwise delaying claims. Six figure pensions are merely the tip of that iceberg.

The claimant has absolutely no recourse when monies are delayed due to bureaucratic red tape. If you want your claim to remain open, then you will take a great big bite of the shit sandwich that is being served and like it. The EDD doesn’t care that you’re about to be evicted because your rent is late; it doesn’t care that your utilities have been or are about to be disconnected; The EDD doesn’t care because it doesn’t have to.

Take Heed, Young Jedi

My advice to anyone with an open UI claim is to:

• Keep a file with everything the EDD sends you;
• Keep copies of everything, including the weekly claim form and UI checks;
• Take notes on telephonic interviews and especially the names of any rep you spoke with;
• Read your DE1275A manual, AKA, A Guide to Benefits and Employment Services.
• Don’t rely on either the EDD or the Force to explain your rights or obligations to you.

Good luck with your claim.

©2009 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Understanding the MySpace Privacy Case

Issue

Berkeley student, Cynthia Moreno published an entry to her MySpace page entitled “An Ode to Coalinga” (the “Ode”). She opened the Ode with “the older I get, the more I realize how much I despise Coalinga,” and then proceeded to detail a barrage of negative commentary about the city and its residents. Six days later, she removed the Ode, however, before she had deleted it, the principal of her former high school had already been to her page, copied her Ode and fired it off via email to his female friend who happened to be the editor at the local newspaper. Cynthia hadn’t used her surname on her page, however the principal, Roger Campbell, had thoughtfully included it for his friend in the newsroom.

The editor then published the Ode as a “Letter to the Editor,” attaching Cynthia’s full name. Long story short, the community of Coalinga experienced a rather violent reaction to the Ode. The Moreno family received death threats, shots were fired upon their home, and ultimately, Mr. Moreno was forced to close the family business. Such a concerted effort put forth by the city’s inhabitants in an attempt to exact retribution upon the family makes it clear to me that the Ode probably wasn’t very far off the mark in portraying the community in a negative light.

Proud Coalinga residents viciously maligned as violent

Ms. Moreno filed a complaint against Mr. Campbell, the newspaper, and the publisher for invasion of privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress, however, the publisher managed to convince the Superior Court to dismiss the complaint based on an anti-SLAPP defense pursuant to Code of Civil Procedure § 425.16. Ms. Moreno did not follow up on an appeal from the judgment. However, the case against Mr. Campbell and the Hanford Sentinel proceeded.

Law

Section 1708.7 of the California Civil Code makes a person liable for the civil crime of stalking. Also referred to as a tort.

Section 646.9 of the Penal Code makes stalking a criminal offense.

And Section 422 of the same Penal Code makes stalking via electronic communications device, also known as “cyberstalking” a criminal offense.

Perhaps such behavior as exhibited by Mr. Campbell is more consistent with invasion of privacy, instead. After all, merely checking up on the details that someone else voluntarily uploaded to a popular Internet website is hardly criminal or criminal-like behavior. But is it really considered stalking or an invasion of privacy if a person willingly discloses on the Internet the particulars of his or her personal life and thoughts?

All of the above referenced statutes go to great lengths to codify exactly what constitutes the official offense of stalking as defined by the State Legislature, but anyone who has ever followed anyone else on a social networking website such as MySpace is guilty of committing a kind of stalking and privacy invasion on a regular basis. A very benign flavor, but stalking or invasion of privacy, nonetheless. What else would you call the act of “following” someone’s activities on the web?

The California Court of Appeal in the Moreno MySpace case didn’t buy that line of argument either. But that doesn’t make the verdict justifiable, in my opinion. If Justice is indeed blind, then she is also deaf and mute as well.

The bottom line of this particular case does not jibe with any facet of the stalking or invasion of privacy laws as they are currently written, which is just as well because like morality, ethics also cannot be legislated. However, I will let you decide for yourself as to whether the instant case was a voluntary disclosure or simply a matter of an authority figure who not only abused his discretion, but who also, evidently, spends his time lurking on social networking websites in search of students.

Richard Vernon, Principal, The Breakfast Club

Analysis

The Appeals Court concluded that Ms. Moreno did not establish a cause of action for her invasion of privacy claim. Such a violation would have required her to set forth:

1. A legally protected privacy interest;
2. A reasonable expectation of privacy;
3. A serious invasion of the privacy interest.

Four distinct kinds of activities have been found to violate this privacy protection and give rise to tort liablity. These activities as defined by statute are:

1. Intrusion into private matters;
2. Public disclosure of private facts;
3. Publicity placing a person in a false light;
4. Misappropriation of a person’s name or likeness.

The court found that since Ms. Moreno had published her journal on MySpace, the Ode was therefore, not private. A critical component of an invasion of privacy charge is public disclosure of private facts. A matter that is already public is not private.

As to the intentional infliction of emotional distress, there are four elements that must be determined by a jury to determine whether conduct was sufficiently extreme and outrageous to result in liability:

1. Outrageous conduct;
2. Intention to cause or reckless disregard of the probability of causing emotional distress;
3. Severe emotional suffering;
4. Actual and proximate causation of the emotional distress.

The court determined that in order for conduct to be reasonably regarded as extreme and outrageous, an objective standard must be applied. The standard is how reasonable people might view the conduct, and, those who are either overly sensitive or callous are disincluded.

The Superior Court concluded that Mr. Campbell’s conduct did not meet the standard of outrageousness necessary to constitute intentional infliction of emotional distress despite the fact that he submitted the Ode to the newspaper for publication knowing he did not have permission to do so. Ms. Moreno alleged that he did so to punish her for the contents of the Ode and to cause emotional distress and alleged conspiracy to include the newspaper as well as the publisher.

The Appeals Court decided that whether Campbell’s conduct was extreme and outrageous was for a jury’s determination. And since Ms. Moreno had filed an appeal from the judgment against her resulting from the anti-SLAPP statute, and then later abandoned it, she could not then amend her complaint to include that Mr. Campbell had conspired with the newspaper and the publisher to cause her emotional distress.

Conclusion

Essentially, the Appeals Court relied on the language of the invasion of privacy law and ultimately concluded that since Ms. Moreno published her Ode on the Internet, she could not then have a reasonable expectation to privacy.

Ed Rooney, Principal Ferris Bueller's Day Off

That this verdict was analyzed appropriately and a logical conclusion deduced, there is no argument. However, I would submit to the reader that given his position as high school principal, the ethics of Roger Campbell should be called into question, and, his employment status terminated based on his questionable behavior.

©2009 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Day After

Black Friday. No other concept seems to be more ridiculous or emblematic of contemporary American society. Whether it’s good or bad depends on which side of the sales counter you’re standing. But we’ll get to that in a sec.

Historically, the words, “black Friday” used to mean exclusively the Wall Street Crash of 1929. But during the eighty (80) year stretch that has gone by since, the American economy has experienced numerous crashes and panics to the extent where we don’t even think about it anymore. We just deal as we are dealing now and the bailouts keep onnnnn coming.

Boom and bust cycles have been engineered by design into our economy by the creation of two financial institutions that are neither public nor part of the federal government, but whose names include the word “federal” in order to hoodwink the uninformed American taxpayer into thinking they are.

I’m referring to, of course, the Federal Reserve and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, better known as the Fed and the FDIC. Two privately held entities that our economy lives or dies by. Currently, it’s dying. The economy, that is. For those of us that don’t make a living as an executive officer in either the banking or automotive industries, there will be no million dollar bonus in our Christmas stockings.

GM and the “too big to fail” bankers Goldman Sachs et al. are doing just fine thanks to the great taxpayer sponsored bailout of 2008. This round of corporate welfare currently comes in at $700 billion and counting, but it could end up costing us as much as $2 trillion.

But don’t take my word for it. If you want a fascinating explanation of the current manufactured fiscal crises and how we got here, then I highly recommend you read Bailout Nation and The Creature from Jekyll Island.

Upon reading these books, you’ll laugh (Like a lunatic in desperate need of thorazine.) You’ll flatulate. Your eyeballs will hemorrhage and pop out of your sockets. Your anal sphincter will pucker. You may even experience simultaneous explosive diarrhea and vomiting. But most of all, you will weep. Uncontrollably. And not even the FDA and CDC approved scam that is known as the swine flu vaccination will help you.

But returning to our topic, Black Friday now simply means this:

And this –

And this.

Personally, I am unable to think of anything more farcical and absurd than standing on a long ass line during the ass crack of dawn in 20°F (-7°C) for a freakin’ X-box or some other item whose availability was deliberately held back so as to create demand and justify jacking up the price tag.

If the average American had a firm grasp of the concept of supply and demand instead of spend and charge it, then those of us who have to work for a living would probably have a hell of a lot better representation in both Houses of Congress. As it currently stands, we’ve got a two party system whose members are indistinguishable from each other on either side and who represent the highest bidder.

It’s ironic. The governments of other developed nations are afraid of pissing off the voters because they fear the people. But instead of holding the “leaders” accountable for their actions, we here in the good, ol’ U.S. of A. go shopping.

I will be spending Black Friday as I usually do. On the couch leaning against my comfy backrest pillow with a good book and/or watching the boys, and, otherwise letting the rest of yooze fight it out amidst the aisles and pallets filled with Chinese manufactured junk at the local crapmart.

Enjoy! I’ll be thinkin’ ’bout ‘cha.

NB: Watch out for the dude who just took a dump in the water fountain.

Sing it, Chrissie.

©2009 Peyton Farquhar™ and Prattle On, Boyo™. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Peyton Farquhar and Prattle On, Boyo with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.